Words by Warren

My hand froze carrying my breakfast smoothie to work this morning. They’re healthy as hell. Healthy enough to endure the cold?

Millions of people across the country will be parked in front of their TVs today. Will you be one of them?

And please don’t tell me your one of those people who isn’t into football. It’s football! Besides, it’s about social gathering and eating junk food. Consider it the extra holiday after the holidays. Enjoy it!

As tasty as a fruit pastry may be, serving of fruit it is not.

So I got a haircut yesterday. If you’ve seen me in the past two years, you’ll know that I’ve got this rooster frock, this big silly old overcompensating duncecap of a quaff. Well it had to retire. It was time for a change. And I’m glad.

I used to be really sensitive about my hair. Well who am I kidding? Still am. But not as much. It’s not just hair, like they say. But sometimes it is just hair. I guess it’s that leo side of me that overcares about my mane. That’s if you believe in astrology. I don’t. (astrologists slammed)

I’d post a before and after photo thing, but I was thinking, do I really want to be one of those people? You know, interactive and fun? That doesn’t sound like me.

Speaking of which, how much do you tip your stylists and shampooers? (haha pooers) I usually give four dollars shampoo and around six to stylist. I’ve read that 10% shampoo and 15% stylist is customary. (but how much can you trust those ehow sites?) just go with whatever you feel fit, I say.

Stylists are like the creative and shampooers the manual labor. But yes, stylists have to be artists. You think they have a list of styles they go through whenever people ask them to recommend a style. What if they already went through their list of cool styles that day and you end up getting the mohawk? Not that that’s exactly how it works, but it’d be funny. “sorry I know a style that’d be perfect for you, but I just gave it to someone else.”

I’ll never forget my first encounter with your work, reading Franny and Zooey in college, wondering why I had waited so long to find it. My subsequent fascination with the Glass family. My love for Holden goes without saying. And little sister Phoebe who was the only one who understood him.

You’ll always be a legend. No matter how much you didn’t want to be.

Perhaps now you’ll let us see more where that came from.

update: This upgraded wordpress app lets me login into my site through admin, something that was missing before. The app is easy to use after you figure it out. Next step, video.

They finally upgraded so that I can post via iPhone! Woot.

I’m busy!

Let’s have the diehard romance
we were supposed to
as if we were never interrupted.
Let’s go back to when you said
he’s just a friend
and pretend like you meant it.

No, my love, you and I are not
a missed opportunity.
We are a cautionary tale
for naive lovers.

A year and a half ago, I was a super emo kid.

Part of my dramatic misadventure through heartbreak included visiting perusing the relationships aisle at barnes and noble, forced encounters with strangers on the street, and even getting drunk at home off my brother’s trifecta of shots  (one of which was a very nasty-tasting ginseng liquor).

One event still sticks out in my mind. It came up in a conversation with an old friend yesterday about things we try to do to move on. You know, sometimes you do out-of-the-ordinary things, in an attempt to symbolize or mark a transitional point in your life. For me, one of these silly markers was the time my brother and I wrote messages in a bottle and through it out to sea, off the rocks at Fort Totten.

We used an old bottle of rum that my brother had downed years ago, saving only one shot. In his drunk and pained eloquence, he had said, “I won’t finish it off the way she finished me off.” So I did it.

In the bottle, we wrote little notes.

His was something like:

After a quarter century of living, I have come to one truth.
That is love.
Always love,
like you’ve never loved before.

Mine was something like:

There are some people you have to know, but don’t want to.
And there are some people you want to know, but don’t have to.
Then there are those select few that you want and have to know
even if they hurt  you and are bad for you.
These are the people who change your life.

And we chucked that bitch out.